About Sexual Intercourse


Duo, Wufei and Trowa on a sofa, centerstage. Two rooms with beds on the left and right, one further to the left, apart from the ‘house’. Bright lights. It’s early morning.


Duo:  I hate getting up so early.

Wufei. You are just lazy.

Trowa: I am just glad…


Duo: Glad because o’ what?

Wufei and Duo look at Trowa. He’s embarrassed.

Trowa: *silently* I am glad, Quatre got up before me…

Duo: Still the old problem?

Trowa: Yes.

Wufei: Did you ever talk to him about it? You have been together for eight months now.

Trowa: What am I supposed to say? I don’t want to embarrass or scare him.

Wufei: You’re not going to get anywhere.

Duo: And you can’t contain yourself.

Trowa: Try to contain yourself with that cute body next to you… with that wonderful pale skin, a light blush and the thin shirt he wears at night… Duo, you have no idea. He is so beautiful… he makes me all squirmish.

Duo: *chuckle* I can’t believe this is you, Trowa. I thought out of the three of us, you’d be the last one to get in trouble with that. He’s got the hots for Quatre… he’s got the hots for Quatre…!

Trowa: Duo!

Duo: *giggle* Oh god, I could laugh my ass off, Trowa’s too horny to…

Trowa: DUO!

Wufei: Yes, I really would have thought, Duo, that hentai would start jumping on either of us out of pure necessity some day.

Duo: Well, you certainly get your fill, Wufei!

Wufei: Treize definitely has a skill of satisfying me.

Duo: And you are calling me a hentai.

Wufei: Basically, you are the one most horny of us all.

Trowa: Right.. how can you stand by and watch Heero without going insane?

Duo: What…? Who…? Heero…???

Wufei: Oh, c’mon, we know what you are staring at, Duo… ALL THE TIME.

Trowa: Well, Heero does have an intiguing ass… right, Duo?

Duo: *snort* He doesn’t even know what one understands under ‘sexual instinct’

Wufei: *like a dictionary* Sexual Instinct, originally ‘urge or need for sexual unison’. It often appears periodically on animals - called heat for female animals or rut in general. On humans, the sexual instinct is more stable and not dependant on natural circumstances. It starts to appear in puberty, but is in some aspects it is already existent in babies.

Duo: Oh, shut up, Wufei, you are making me sick. I bet, that’s just what Heero would do – look it up. But these words are so pointless.

Trowa: How do you know Heero’s oblivious?

Duo: I asked him. Are you sure Quatre knows about … well… all of this?

Trowa: Who doesn’t?

Duo: Heero.

Trowa: Oh… right…


Quatre comes inside with a shopping bag, he sets it on the counter, comes over to Trowa and kisses him hello.


Quatre: Nice you are up already. I brought breakfast.

Trowa: We’ll be there in a minute, love.

Quatre: Alrighty.

Quatre leaves.

Trowa: Oh come on, look at that ass! How can one not be tempted??? He should be forbidden to walk around freely with that face, that body… that pure innocence – He’s public danger. He is so … so...

Duo: Hot, say it out loud.

Trowa: Don’t you dare to look at him in any other way than…

Duo: Ho! I wouldn’t. I find Heero’s ass much more interesting!

Wufei: I don’t get it – don’t you at all feel desolated that he obviously doesn’t want anything from you?

Duo: Nope. How can he know what he wants if he doesn’t even know that he could want at all? He will want me, eventually.

Wufei: Your opinion of yourself is much too high, Duo Maxwell.

Duo: We’ll see.

Trowa hasn’t stopped staring at the empty corridor after Quatre yet.

Duo: Hey Trowa, stop drooling!

He turns back around. Duo and Wufei get up towards breakfast.

Wufei: Are you coming?

Trowa holds his lower stomach.

Trowa: In a moment…

Duo: Oh… yeah, right, calm yourself down first, little hot guy and then follows us.

Trowa: Oh shut up…

They leave Trowa alone, chuckling. Trowa gets up rather awkwardly... obviously with sexual need. He leaves the other way.


The lights dim. It’s evening. The chamber away from the house is illuminated with dim light. Treize and Wufei enter, Treize is cuddling Wufei eagerly.


Wufei: Hey. Stop that – that is my bum and that’s yours, okay?

He softly slaps Treize’s bum.

Treize: I never said anything else…

Wufei: Then keep your hands on yours, Treize.

Treize: Sorry, I just can’t.

Wufei: I realized that…!

Treize drags Wufei to the bed and pushes him onto it. Trowa enters from the right and sits against the chamber wall. Duo appears from the left with a bottle of coca cola. He leans against the chamber on the other side, legs crossed. Treize kisses Wufei. They undress each other during the dialogue.

Wufei: You certainly have no manners, Treize.

Treize: Do you really mind?

Wufei: Not at all, as long as your un-manners stay in my bed.

Treize: Our bed, I may correct.


Wufei: You are quite a rush today…

Treize: They should forbid you to veil that skin!

Wufei: So hentais like you can get there fill out of it, what?

Treize: I get my fill of that body even when you walk around clothed.

Wufei: You are so dirty… you are so… hey… stop that! Stop that! Treize!!!

Treize: What?

Wufei: Don’t touch me!

Treize: You don’t like it?

Wufei: *moans* Treize…

Treize: There you go…


The light on them darkens so the sex is hardly visible. Duo starts fiddling off the paper on the bottle with his fingers, growing more and more nervous as Treize and Wufei proceed.


Wufei: That was mean! Come here.

Treize:  Anything you say. … I like that…

Wufei: I know.

Treize: *moaning soft ‘ahs’* I always know… why I chose you.

Wufei: *lovingly* You are worth my love every inch.

Treize: …and every … moment…

Wufei: … don’t… hurt…. me…

Treize: I’m… trying…

Wufei moans either out of pleasure or pain. Treize joins. They continue a moment. Trowa grabs the wall and hugs his knees to his chest with the other arm.

Wufei: In love… this is the best of all…

Treize: Only… with love… Wufei…

Wufei: This is best… Pause. Moaning. Treize… deeper… please.

Treize: Shh… don’t rush so much.

Wufei: Treize! Treize!!!

Treize: Shh… wait for me…

Wufei: Treize…

There is only moaning for a while, then they both yell out each others name. Trowa trembles, Duo drops the bottle. Lights on Treize and Wufe fade completely. Trowa gets up and walks towards the house. He meets Duo in front of Wufei’s and Treize’s chamber.


Duo: You…?

Trowa: Have you been here all the time?

Duo: I… I guess. I… this is embarrassing.

Trowa: For the both of us, yes. I… I just wished… because of Quatre.

Duo: *smirk* I’d offer myself, Trowa, but that isn’t even close to what they have.

Trowa: I want Quatre.

Duo: I want Heero.

Trowa: He doesn’t even realise I can hardly stand his presence anymore without thinking of… well… that..!

Duo: You should really tell him. You can’t expect him to--- no, that was dumb. Even I can see it.

Trowa: It’s so embarassing.

Duo: But still… he’s Quatre. He wouldn’t even suggest… you know that.

Trowa: But how could I ever bring that over my lips, when he’s looking at me? I feel so dirty.


Trowa: And you… what are you going to do about Heero?

Duo: Watch.

Trowa: Never going to tell him? It helped me and Quatre.

Duo: If I did, he’d immediately think he is in love with me, because I am his only friend, and he has never had any friends before. He wouldn’t understand the difference between friendship and love. I can’t take advantage of that.

Trowa: I guess. I don’t know him that much.

Duo: We shouldn’t spy on Wufei and Treize…

Trowa: I don’t know what has gotten into me.

Duo: Me neither. It’s a mean thing to do, and it just makes it worse. We should agree on not doing that anymore.

Trowa: Right. It’s a deal.

They shake hands. Then each goes his way. Quatre is waiting in the room on the left, Trowa enters.


Quatre: Where have you been?

Trowa: Out.

Quatre: Where?

Trowa: Just out. I can go out, can I?

Quatre: *softly* Yes of course, panther. It’s just getting late… I thought you might…

Trowa: Might go astray? Cheat on you? Is that what you mean?

Quatre: Cheat on me? What do you mean?

Trowa: I… sorry… I thought you meant you were afraid I could have gone out to make love with someone else.

Quatre: But you assured me, I was the only one you loved…

Trowa: Yes, you are the only one!

They kiss.

Trowa: You really don’t have a clue…

Quatre: A clue of what?

Trowa: It explains a lot. Give me a day Quatre… I’ll try to think up a way to explain myself.

Quatre: Whatever you want. I promise, I only was scared something could have happened.

Trowa: You are so caring.

They lay down in their bed.

Quatre: I’ll be right back…

Trowa: The obligatory cup of tea, Quatre?

Quatre: Yes… I can’t sleep without…

Trowa: I know.

Quatre leaves. Trowa waits a while, than puts a hand into his lap. After a while he starts panting.

Trowa: *whisper* Quatre… Quatre…

Silence… soft panting.

Trowa: *in a slight moan* No… I can’t do that… no!

He stops and lays down on his back.

Trowa: You have no idea how you torture me, my angel…


The lights fade. Complete darkness for a moment. Then light go on in the house-chamber on the left. Duo and Heero are on the bed.


Duo: Do you want me to have a look at it?

Heero: I don’t know.

Duo: I’ll surely not hurt you.

Heero: It’s fine right now. Really.

Duo: Oh… Do you want to see a doctor.

Heero: No… no… They are… evil.

Duo: Not the ones who hurt you in the past.

Heero: No… I mean it. Not a doctor.

Duo: Should I get Trowa to look at it?

Heero: No. It would be too embarrassing.

Duo: Okay. My offer is still there. I am the closest friend you have, Heero.

Heero: I know.  It’s fine right now.

Duo: Here… I’ll not hurt you. I’ll just see whether I can understand… and help.

Heero nods slowly. Duo helps him up, so he stands before the bed, back to the audience. Carefully, Duo frees Heero of his pants. He obviously has a hard time to behave ‘scientific’. He hesitates a moment, then holds out a hand.

Duo: May I?

Heero: Yes.

He scoots a little closer and examines the problem – invisible to the audience.

Heero: It’s… starting… again.

Duo’s eyes widen considerably, and he scrambles back a little.

Duo: Goodness…!

Heero: I am afraid it will hurt again.. can’t you do anything?

Duo: No.. I mean… yes… oh… goodness!!!

Duo takes Heero by the wrist and drags him onto the bed. Duo sits on one side, so his back faces the audience. He pulls Heero on his lap and lays hand on him.

Heero: Are you sure you know what you are-

Duo: Unfortunately, yes.

Heero: Duo… this is weird… I don’t…

Heero moans. Duo gasps as well, feeling quite turned on by this.

Duo: Shit… I’ll come in my pants!

Heero: What- *moan*

Duo: *moans* 

Heero and Duo keep on a while, moaning. Trowa comes into the room with the sofa and plops down. He is thinking. A moment later, he becomes aware of the noise. He hides his face in his hands and wipes the hot skin, feeling embarrassed and jealous at the same time. Quatre enters. He hears the noise. He sits next to Trowa. Trowa looks away, secretly pleading that it is not true that  he is not overhearing someone having sex right now, while his most tempting lover is sitting right next to him… obliviously.

Heero: Duo…!!!

Heero comes. Duo throws him off himself, yanks his own pants ope, drops them and crouches on the floor

Duo: *moaning* Oh shit… oh shit…!

Heero: Duo?

Duo: Go… this is humiliating… leave the room.

Heero: You have the same problem…

Heero attempts to ‘help’ Duo

Duo: Why me??? Why me, the heck…? *moans*

Heero kneels behind him and ‘helps’ him until he comes. (HEERO!!!) They are hardly visible behind the bed. Duo clutches the carpet. When they are finished, he pulls Heero onto the bed and lays down with him, to calm the both down.


Quatre: Maybe we should go and help them… it sounds painful.

Trowa: N-no no… Quatre, they are fine…

Quatre: They both seem to be… not okay…

Trowa: They are perfectly well, believe me!!!

Quatre: You are acting weird. They are moaning…

Trowa: Hell! Of course they are…!!!

Quatre: Huh???

Trowa: Come. Come with me.

He takes Quatre by the wrist, pulls them inside their room and locks the door. He presses Quatre against the wall. He is panting.

Trowa: Please, Quatre.. let me do something for you…

Quatre: What?

Trowa: Please… you won’t regret it… I promise!

He opens Quatre’s pants.

Quatre: What are you doing???

Trowa: You missed something! You really did! Look, Quatre, there is something really wonderful in a relationship. Something Heero and Duo did, but we didn’t.

Quatre: But--- but they are no couple…!

Trowa pulls down Quatre’s pants. He is quite hasty – in his movements as well as his words.

Trowa: I am sure by now they are…

Quatre: They sounded painful…!

Trowa: There is no pain involved!

Quatre: Trowa…

Trowa: It’s good… believe me! Oh… and Quatre… it suits you. It suits you and me to do that. Your wonderful body, your wonderful soft voice… I want to hear you like that! Please!

Quatre: Trowa…! You want me in pain???

Trowa: No!

Trowa hastily pulls down Quatre’s boxers. Due to Quatre’s long shirt, the audience can’t see anything.

Quatre: *squeak* You scare me!!

Trowa gets up, panting. He softy kisses Quatre.

Trowa: I don’t mean to. Please… trust me. There won’t be any pain. You will like it.

Quatre nods slowly. Trowa kisses him again, then kneels down in front of him. He starts kissing Quatre between his legs and moves further into giving him oral pleasure. Quatre is startled.

Quatre:  *moans* Trowa…

Quatre presses his hands against the walls, he is trembling.

Quatre: *moaning* Trowa… what is that? … Trowa… love… oh gracious… *keeps moaning* I didn’t … *more moaning*

Trowa lays his hands on top of Quatre’s. Quatre arches his back and keeps moaning. 

Quatre: *coming* Trowa!!!

Trowa takes him in his arms and hugs him tightly before he can think to the floor. Trowa buries his face in Quatre’s shoulder. Quatre holds him just as tightly. Pause.

Trowa: Sorry… sorry.. it’s over…

Quatre: No… thank you… I didn’t know this.

He kisses Trowa a couple of times, assuring him that he is fine. Trowa pulls him onto the bed, they are indicating that Trowa will seduce Quatre again. The lights dim.


As the lights go on again, everyone’s assembled in the big room. Heero sits on Duo’s lap, Treize sits on an armchair, Wufei right next to him. Trowa and Quatre are sitting next to each other, occupying one part of the sofa.


Treize: So, everything set?

Quatre: Yes. We can go, unless it isn’t too cold.

Trowa: It won’t be. I’ll keep you warm.

Quatre: I know. *gets up*

Trowa: Where are you going?

Quatre: Getting tea.

As soon as Quatre is gone.

Duo: And, Trowa… how is it going – any changes?

Trowa: No. But I got over it. I am sure he will tell me, if he wants to.

Duo: Does he know what there is to want?

Trowa: He is as innocent as an angel. And somehow, that’s what he is supposed to be, ne? I don’t need to have sex with him. We are fine… he’s something to look at, you know.

Trowa gets up with a smile.

Duo: But a few days ago, you could hardly stop yourself…

Trowa: Self-control. I am not like you, Duo…

Duo: *embarrassed* Heero liked it…

Trowa: Whatever… have fun. I’ll have some tea.

They all stare blatantly at Trowa as he leaves the room. He and Quatre enter their room. Trhey crawl into bed. Quatre gets up after a moment.

Quatre: I’ll be right back…

Trowa: The obligatory tube of lube, Quatre?

Quatre: Yes… I can’t sleep without…

Trowa: I know.